Time to blog furrealz

LOL I don’t even wanna look at what I wrote in the past.

I’m pretty sure I was bullshitting myself or trying to make excuses for that person I was apparently “falling for.” Ha. Idjot.

…maybe I’ll go back and read it trololololol!

Do you ever

find yourself falling for some one because of the weird things they do? Or the way that they do things? I’m not sure how to explain it but when I work with this person I see how their mind works and how they improve EVERYTHING in less than a second.

For instance, you’re writing a song, and you think it’s shitty. Then you show it to some one for their input. They send it back to you and it’s a million times better than you had it before. They explain their mind process and why the song should be structured the way it is, and what it means. And then you just fall for them cuz they’re so good at what they do.

Does this make any sense?! I HOPE IT DOES!

Dear You,

Even though I know everything I should know, you always keep me guessing. It’s pretty annoying and makes me second guess stuff sometimes. But then I look at the big picture, and see the little things that you do and I guess that makes it ok.

I think that’s when I know I’m more special to you than you make it seem.

;]

Right Now

I’m prettty happy with what’s going on in my life. I’m losing weight, going out a bit more, and going to the gym more often. I feel pretty without a lot of caked on makeup/eyeshadow. It just feels REALLY good! I’m not afraid to put on less of it and going out. Before I was like, I don’t need to impress anyone! And it’s still the same except with more confidence I guess.

BUT.. and there’s always a but! this is going to sound so stupid of me…. buttttttttttttttttttttt….. you ever lose attention from some one and get annoyed cuz they’re not giving it to you?! LMFAO! This is so stupid! I’m like laughing at myself cuz I know this is just me being really tired speaking, but at the same time it’s how i feel. I am normally good at reading people but for some strange reason i can’t tell what’s on this person’s mind!! sometimes i’m scared i’m getting played. this is the reason why i never let my guard down, for ANYONE. but most of the time there is an exception to the rule. i blame it on past friendships/relationships for me not being able to trust anyone completely. But that’s a good thing, right?

You ever hear the song “Something Stupid” by Frank Sinatra? I think, but I’m not 100% sure, this is why whatever is going on… is going on!

It seems this is my emo blog hahaha.

I hate when I can’t sleep because I have so much on my mind. And as much as I hate to say it, although it’s usually very rare, this time it’s about “love.” BLECH! Recently I’ve had a “wonderstruck” moment. I love the song Enchanted so much. Adam Young wrote to Taylor Swift apologizing for when they met that he was quiet, but the word he used was “wonderstruck.” Taylor then used that word in her song Enchanted because she was also pretty shy to express the way she felt in person. So of course he knows the song is about him! And for this Valentines Day [I believe] he wrote a response to her song basically saying he felt the same way. Now I’m waiting for my response… not that I’ve thrown anything out there cuz I just don’t do things like that. Whatever we’ll see how everything plays out

Be happy

with everything I ever gave to you. You know me so well and because if that it was easy for you to get what you want. I hope when you use all that shit you think of me.

It’s so hard to forget you because I’m looking at old shit and it’s so annoying that there’s so many things that remind me of you. BLARGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH.

*sigh*

I just posted on twitter that I would much rather be cheated on than lied to for such a long time. It’s true though, I really would. It’s way more easy to just be like fuck you for cheating on me we’re done than be left confused as to why this person decided to choose me, lie to me, and use me. This is why I don’t let my guard down for anyone. I make an exception once and it all goes to shit. No more letting people in.

I just don’t understand why.

I don’t even know where to start.

Hello everyone! Thanks for following me. and staying followed.. haha. anyway, it’s late and it’s almost christmas, and that means… ONLY A FEW DAYS UNTIL THE NEW YEAR!

I am so ready for this new year. SOOO READY! not that i hated this year, i’m just excited for what’s to come!

Vadges will happen, birthdays, more events, JUST LOVE IT! can’t wait. seriously i really can’t. i promise you guys i plan to be more detailed in my future posts.

Today has been different?

The last few months, Ryan and I haven’t been hanging out together. And when I mean together I mean just the two of us. And for the last 3 years we’ve been making plans to go to 7/11 for free slurpee cuz they do that… but we never do, and I don’t know why! We actually made the effort to go, but 2 places we went to were like NO MORE FREE SLURPEES. So we were like FAHK! So we gave up. We went to In&Out and got burgers and animal fries *drool.*

After that we went to go watch Grown Ups. I thought it was hilarious, but there are always those assholes that are like JKFL;AJW RIWOA ;JRWI; LOUD MOUTH SCHNOOK!

Either way it was still really funny. Does anyone by any chance remember the name of the song in grownup when they’re all slow dancing and David Spade is a drunkass? It’s a slow song [obvi] and it’s an older song [obvi.]

It was all around just nice. And we took advantage of some of the promotional… posters?

- July 11, 2010